Parenting progress. Star children. Unschooling:
My partner Christopher and I have adopted the unschooling method after doing research on what this actually means and how to go about it. I’ll say that unschooling is far from what society accepts or encourages for our children, but as parents learn of this natural way, it is becoming more popular. While this way of living sadly almost seems unnatural to the programmed mind, our hearts fully support and know this is the way for our family. The idea of unschooling is actually quite simple; allowing your child to learn from life at his or her own pace and way. As parents we act as guides, giving them the necessary tools to further explore based on their interests.
After much trial and error of going about parenting in the old ways, it has proved to be unhealthy to the family, while integrating the more natural way of allowing and trusting is proving more success. This way calls for placing full trust in the child and their ability to lead and teach themselves, asking questions out of interest and downloading the information that resonates with them and their life path. We have noticed that communication and connection is the most important part of unschooling; to trust and gain trust from our child, while also witnessing the opposite from lack of communication/connection.
For an example, It has been a challenge to encourage Maliha to want to clean her own room. Christopher and I have both experienced exhaustion from repeating ourselves and raising our voices, causing much frustration. The unschooling way is not to force ANYTHING upon the child, although we’ve caught ourselves trying to come from the old ways numerous times and seeing that they just don’t work. We also have experienced that when we try to force her to do anything from clean, eat, put clothes on, count and repeat letters, she rebels against our desire for her to do what we feel she needs to at our time because our time is obviously not hers. I’ve personally come to innerstand and respect her need to make her own choices in her own time because this seems to be the natural way even for us adults. Like I mentioned before, I catch myself coming from the old programmed way of forcing and it just doesn’t feel good for any of us.
Last night, Maliha miraculously cleaned her room while singing her own cleaning song happily, it was like something clicked in her mind about the importance of keeping tidy. She then told us very proudly how she cleaned all by herself, saying that she didn’t need our help and basically implying that she will clean without being told or asked. I cannot tell you how much her words spoke to our hearts and the words that followed. Maliha apologized for acting out earlier and said she doesn’t want to be mean anymore and that she wants to be best friends. I wanted to cry.. because of course I naturally want to blame myself for my child’s behavior at times but seeing that she is already wanting to take full responsibility at her age is pure amazement.
I’ve wondered of her development for a three year old, learning from everyday life school and it’s like her soul showed me what she’s gathered thus far which was everything I needed. Words cannot express the feeling of trust and peace that I’ve come to feel about her life experiences. I realize that she chose this way of living, as much as it seemed that we make choices for her, I feel confident in the knowing that SHE is her ultimate creator.
As we were falling asleep, she said to us that she is happy to be here with mommy and daddy. – I believe that to be the best message a parent can ever receive.